the "in-between" stage

what being in the "in-between" stretch has taught me

Aug 03, 2025

life is often measured through highs and lows.

the highs: savouring the last bite of your birthday cake. walking across the stage to receive your degree. turning the key to your first home. laughter echoing through the walls on a friday night. the thrill of driving your shiny new car with your best tunes and the windows down. the tingle down your spine as you take your seat on the plane.

the lows: a heartbreak you never saw coming. a betrayal that lingers a little too long. the email that begins with “we regret to inform you.” the sleepless nights spent studying and you still fail. the relationships you stretched yourself thin for but ultimately felt “too little.”

but what about the in-betweens?

the waiting rooms where nothing seems to change, and yet everything faintly shifts. the heavy fog that lightens with every step, but still stretches. the mornings when you are not sure who you are anymore.

no longer who you were, but not yet who you are becoming.

no one really talks about the in betweens of life. the liminal space before your intimate prayers become answered blessings. the moment where trusting the process becomes its own reward: the place you meet yourself.

these past few months have felt heavy - clouded with doubt, drowning in uncertainty. but even the longest monsoon paves way for clearer skies, and in the seismic quiet within the storm, you begin to see things differently. not all at once, but enough to begin again. believe again. and keep going.

here are glimpses of clarity i have discovered through the midst of my storm.

you are strongest in the moments you choose to keep going instead of surrendering to resistance

those moments when you ask, will it even make a difference? when your mind won’t stop racing, your heart keeps whispering this is what you have to do, but your limbs feel too stiff. whether it’s getting yourself out of bed after a long morning slump to go on a walk, whether it’s opening your journal to write again, whether it’s sending one more application. these are the moments that define your resilience. when you break through resistance and keep the quiet, profound promises you’ve made to yourself. in these small moments is where you meet the future version of you - the one that is deeply thankful that you did not give up.

rest is not part of the process - it is the process

in a world that pushes quantity over quality, taking time to rest is the ultimate defiance. rest is essential, productive, and transformative. a mind can never be blank - only cluttered, and when you give it space to decompress, you begin to uncover answers you’ve been seeking but never quite reached.

over the past few months, i have prioritized rest above all. not just the kind of rest where you simply rot in bed, doomscroll, and let the quiet rumble of your thoughts entertain you, but the kind where you think too deeply and need to pour your mind into pages of words. the kind where you sit on the rocks and watch the waves crash - still, yet ever moving. the kind where you discover seeds of clarity already sprouting inside of you, just waiting to be found and watered.

if you think you know what is best for you - you don’t. but life does.

this has been the most ironic reflection i’ve explored in the last few months. i have always gravitated toward the comfort of certainty. certainty about what i like, what career i want, what my future will hold. yet, life has a funny way of showing you how little you really know about yourself. what’s even funnier is that what life ultimately unfolds to you is far better than anything you could have planned.

reframing my mindset to what is this moment trying to teach or show me? rather than obsessing over the outcome has welcomed more peace and calm than certainty ever could. learning to console the impulse in me - to control, to predict, to plan - by leaning in instead of resisting has been a quiet, difficult, but deeply opening practice. sitting with discomfort, listening to my intuition, doubts, fears, and alignments, has evolved my inner perception of what my values and strengths truly are, and that clarity does not come all at once - it comes in fragments exactly when it’s ready, and it was always within me already.

it was never about the destination, but who you become while you walk there.

you don’t need more self-love, you need more self-trust

self-love is celebrating yourself with a sweet treat after a successful interview. it’s choosing to honor your integrity while navigating a difficult conversation. reading a book or watching a documentary instead of doomscrolling to soothe the chaos in your mind. taking yourself out to see that movie even if nobody else could join. self-love is forgiving yourself, nourishing yourself, choosing joy, and offering yourself grace while coexisting with grief.

but self-trust?

self-trust is showing up even when doubt is loud and confidence has gone quiet. self-trust is entering the networking call, hitting publish, getting on the plane - even when you’re scared. self-trust is choosing to fight for what’s yours even if it feels unsteady. even if the path ahead is still forming. even when nothing feels guaranteed. it is moving toward the bigger picture - the bigger stretch - knowing deep down that you will make it through. because every obstacle you’ve faced is uniquely yours - to collapse under, to rise from and to grow through.

this season of my life has been the most ambiguous, but also the most revealing - of who i am, what i value, and what i am capable of. the greatest risk you’ll ever take is choosing to move in alignment, even if materially it does not make sense. because alignment is never about certainty. it is about trust. it is about trusting the compass in you instead of the maps you were handed.

the power in softness

what happens when you stop letting the edges define you? what happens when you return to your breath instead of becoming bitter? what happens when you walk toward tenderness, and meet yourself with curiosity instead of judgement? you begin to see how vulnerability was never your weakness, but the very superpower that kept you breathing. alive. ignited. vulnerability holds the power of empathy, compassion, and above all, it is what makes us human. you start noticing all the ways people avoid vulnerability, and the lengths they go to do so - and what becomes of them. what happens when you let hardness consume you, when you can simply let go?

life has presented itself to me in many forms - as a storm, an eruption, a bud, a bloom, and mostly, as stillness. and in each form, it has asked me:

will you stay soft?

and yes, that i have. it’s a risky choice to stay soft. to keep your heart open in a world so unpredictable. to feel fully when it’s easier to be numb. choosing softness does not make life easier - if anything, it makes it harder. but it makes you more whole. more present, more alive. and in a world so defying, the bravest you can be is soft.

Discussion about this post

Ready for more?